Sacrifice for Your Kids

Sacrifice.

“When I hear people talk about juggling, or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy, because 'sacrifice' infers that there was something better to do than being with your children.” - Chris Rock

As a parent you often find yourself sacrificing for your kids. However, the quote above from Chris Rock really rings true. Are you really ‘sacrificing’ when you are spending time with your children – regardless of what you are doing? Sometimes it may really seem like a pain in the ass at the time and that you’d probably want to do anything other than what you are doing, but in the long run it may all be worth it.

Last night I had another episode where I felt like I was sacrificing for my kids. In this particular case it was for my oldest daughter. I got home from a long day of work and was looking forward to sitting down at 8 pm to watch the first round of the NFL draft. I also wanted to attend a Twitter chat (#DadChat) with Bruce Sallan and Guy Kawasaki at 9 pm.

In the meantime, my youngest was a little restless so I decided to take her with me to pick up some mulch and flowers that we could plant together later. Everything of course was planned and timed to end by 8 o’clock so I could be in front of the TV to watch everything unfold and see who my team picked.

With teenagers, you’ll find out that sometimes what you have planned doesn’t exactly fit into their schedule. You’ll also discover they wait until the last minute to complete their assignments. Yes, a shocker, I know. As a result, your time means jack squat.

While I was out getting the mulch and flowers I received multiple texts from my wife that my oldest was on the verge of a meltdown. Given the fact we are communicating over text, I didn’t get the full breadth of the problem. All I knew was she was half way through an online assignment and encountered some sort of session time-out or something along those lines.

I walk in the door, get settled, look over her assignments, assess the situation, and come to the realization that I have a full night ahead of me. She has a ton of homework and it’s already 8 o’clock. Wait a minute. Did you catch that? Yes, MY 8 o’clock. Needless to say, dad’s time was just kicked to the curb for high school English, Spanish, and Chemistry. Without going into the gory details, we ended up staying up past 1am. (note: I did have the draft on in the background and I was furiously trying to keep up with Guy Kawasaki’s awesomeness, so it wasn’t a total loss.)

This is just one recent example of how a parent sacrifices for their kids. You never know when or what to expect. There are a multitude of ways I’ve found myself sacrificing and helping my kids over the years but I won’t go into all of them here. I’m sure you can relate, whether it’s providing physical, mental, or emotional support. For example, I’ve mentioned in the past sitting at soccer practices in the rain with them. With no umbrella in hand, I sit there defiantly under the deluge and stubbornly form a bond with them as we both squish walk back to the car. If she’s going to get wet, then damn it so am I.

Sacrifice.

I could’ve ran to the car, but no, I make sure they know I’m there for them. Last night, I could’ve told her to go figure out her homework and stop complaining while I sat down on the couch, threw down some Doritos, and watched the Draft. Instead, I was there with her all night. You don’t even have to be fully engaged the entire time. Sometimes just sitting next to them while they work provides them enough support to get them through.

We fought, we laughed, we scratched our heads, we yawned, and we damn near cried at points…but we were there with each other. She knew I had her back and I was there to help. I wasn’t going to go to sleep until she went to sleep. I don’t speak Spanish and I definitely don’t remember Chemistry at the level she’s taking right now. That didn’t matter though. I provided her a calming presence, guidance, and methods for succeeding in chipping away at what seemed insurmountable.

Sure, I’m tired at work today and slamming my 4th cup of coffee before 9am, but I’ve been here before. I’ve stayed up late working on projects, solving complex questions related to synthetic division, crash learning about endoplasmic reticulum, and generally holding their hands helping them get through it emotionally. Some day we’ll look back on nights like last night and laugh about it. The important thing is, she’ll remember it, and hopefully smile about stressing out with dear ol’ dad.

Sacrifice.

Love.

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