10 Things I’d Rather Do Instead of Listening to Congress Talk About the Government Shutdown

Ok, the Government shut down. Nice work! They should be proud of what they’ve done. Really impressive.

I’m sick of politicians.

They are a ridiculous group of individuals that make lawyers and car salesmen look like people you’d want to hang out with. Every time I turn on the TV I’m reminded of just how ridiculous they are and just how out of touch they are with every day citizens. I would like to kick them all out, but unfortunately there is a line of similar clowns waiting to take their place.

In honor of their ineptitude and back-asswardness, I’ve put together a list of 10 things I’d rather be doing instead of listening to their pointless drivel regarding the current government shutdown.

1. I’d rather…be dropped in the middle of a rabid horde of kids riding a sugar high at a Chuck E. Cheese

2. I’d rather…be front row center for a Justin Bieber concert

3. I’d rather…watch a 24 hour marathon of the Wiggles or Glee

4. I’d rather…travel cross country with a car full of kids with no electronic devices, in the middle of the summer, with no air conditioning, and no deodorant

5. I’d rather…empty a Diaper Genie

6. I’d rather…chaperone a school field trip to the zoo, in the middle of a heat wave, with a 20:1 child to adult ratio, and no coordinated brightly colored tee shirts

7. I’d rather…try to decipher pre-calculus and trigonometry at midnight while being berated for not “just knowing” it

8. I’d rather…stick my head into my daughter’s soccer bag

9. I’d rather…listen to a non-stop loop of tween/teen girls shrieking with that God-forsaken sound only they can make on a pair of cheap headphones that physically cause pain when worn too long

10. I’d rather…meet my daughter’s boyfriend (ok, maybe not this one)

Any others you can think of?