Stubbornness to Do It All

As fathers we should have unyielding drive to do all for our kids. We should be unrelenting and passionate in how we approach their activities and should sweep all distractions and obstacles to the side as we push forward with stubbornness and eyes affixed sternly to the end goal.

Since I was a kid I’ve always been one that would continue to push until nearing exhaustion. I remember wrestling my step brothers when I was younger. I would be getting my tail kicked but kept coming back for more. They were twice my size and much stronger, but I kept picking myself up and going back in for more. Almost to the point where I would wear them down and they’d ultimately quit. My tenacity earned me respect.

I have approached my professional career with the same mindset. I have often attacked problems with a ferocity and sheer unwillingness to let them beat me. Working in the computer industry you find yourself often working long hours in cold server rooms. I’ve been an active participant, and often led, marathon coding and delivery sessions known affectionately as “death marches”. I would get in early in the morning and leave well past midnight, seldom securing more than a few hours of sleep. This would continue for days on end until there were moments where I’d find myself drifting off at the stop light on the way to work. Success would follow, problems were solved, and clients were happy. My drive would be so consuming that I wouldn’t feel hunger, wouldn’t feel exhaustion, and wouldn’t require breaks beyond refueling with more coffee.

This same audacity to push the limits and drive forward passionately is also evident in my role as a father. Whenever obstacles arise when trying to accomplish tasks for my kids, they are dealt with tactically and tirelessly. I immediately analyze the situation, construct a plan of approach, then execute with determination and blind optimism.

I’ve been told by close friends that I’m stubborn. This personality trait allows me to disregard potential setbacks and to believe I can accomplish anything if I just continue to fight. This past weekend was testament to my innate refusal to believe a complex set of activities can best me.

Friday night I spent 6 hours in brutal cold wind watching my oldest daughter compete in her track meet. I did this knowing full well that the weekend was chock full of soccer games as both my girls were competing in a Memorial Day tournament. I’d have to get up the next day at 5:30 am to get my youngest daughter to her soccer game. I came home from the track meet and immediately started prepping for all the soccer activities for the next day. This included rounding up all equipment, jerseys, supplies, and food and water. Field locations and directions as well as assignments between my wife and I were crafted and prepped for the action that would ensue the next morning. This was just the first night of many that would require late nights and early mornings.

Over the course of the weekend I entered “death march” mode and pushed nonstop, refusing to allow anything to pass without being conquered. Here are some of the highlights of the three day weekend…

• Attended a frigid track meet for six hours after a full day of work
• Orchestrated attendance at six soccer games across three different locations – Every day there was a game at 8am which required waking up at 5:30am
• Volunteered my time to assist with the tournament and serve as a Field Marshal for three games across two days
• Coordinated a sleepover and cookout for seven of my oldest daughter’s friends and one of my youngest daughter’s friends
• Drove and chaperoned all of the sleepover participants, plus more, to Kings Dominion Amusement park for the day

With all this said, I’d be far less successful without a team of dedicated individuals willing to sacrifice and give all they have in order to accomplish common goals. No man can do it all on his own. This is even more true in my personal life. Full success would escape me without the sacrifice and passionate pursuit of accomplishment from my wife. She provides tireless support and guidance for all we do for our daughters.

Refuse to think it can’t be done. Each time something is asked of you or thrown in your way as a request, accept the challenge and add it to the stack. As they pop up, plan your attack and knock them down.

Drive to be the best dad you can be. Refuse to allow potential setbacks to distract you and knock you off your line. Move with passion and purpose and thrive under the pressure to make it happen. You have the power to do great things with, and for, your kids. Don’t let what seems insurmountable at the time be reason to throw up your hands and slip away as a failure. Even if you can’t satisfy every request, or attend every event, push forward with contempt at the thought of being beat.

Have the stubbornness to do it all.